Endless daze slipping through thickening fingers
This numbing comfort a warm paralytic liquor,
Through my in and outsides.
Beside myself with incompetence.
(Staring wide eyed and afraid into blank pages.
Mirror mirror.
Broadcasting back a nonstop marathon of my greatest failures, fears, and failings.
What a goddamned uncomfortable thought.)
The measure of my worth in shambles.
Blood viscous as molasses.
Belly full of god knows what.
Feet aching from fewer steps than before.
(Be fore.
Be more.
Wow.
Come back to me.
Who have I become?
What is this face I see staring back at me and why are his teeth falling out.
What the fuck is happening and how the fuck do I stop it.
How do I fix things.
I’m in goddamned shambles.
What the fuck happened.
What do I do.)
So unfulfilled.
Uphill battle after another hill.
An unrest that runs so deep I can’t tell where it ends and I begin.
Lost sight of my past self
And became a future abomination
Time traveling ageless
How do I free my soul from this machination
Step back and calculate
Oversee and evaluate
Figure your shit out and figure out who the fuck you are again.
I am so fucking overwhelmed and unhappy.
Who the fuck am I these days, who the fuck was I ever?
What is going on around me and inside.
credits
from Leprosy in Eden,
released July 3, 2016
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